Bad Intentions

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deiety deiety

Honey, just watch me

altonzm

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

thirdtimecharmed

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

svynakee

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.

orriculum

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

digitalfare

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

jamesandlilys

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

pajarosdelamancha

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

narwhal-noir

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

moldychesee

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

dixon-arrows

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

beckyhop

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

memesandshipsgalore

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl

onceuponamirror

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.

jumpingjacktrash

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

piedude

Irish recipes:

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

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“School is not a fashion show”